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Parental Expectations

What do your parents expect of you? Is it different to your siblings?

My partner, Russ & I are both the youngest child in our families and we clearly both have the bulk of life expectations from our families. 

Questions I would love to be asked - What am you working on at the moment. Read anything interesting lately? How's work? How are you??? (I really can't remember the last time anyone asked how I was actually doing, as a person...)

Questions I am asked on a daily basis - Have you applied for your Phd? Have you heard back from that interview? (...you had this morning) Is your dissertation finished yet? (not due till August - really!?) How long do we have to wait till you are called a Doctor? You're not going to think about having children anytime soon are you, as that is a huge mistake! 

I mentioned to my mum tonight that it is funny everyone did not bat an eyelid at my sister having a baby at my age (21) but when I mention possibly starting a family before or just after my Phd (22/25), I receive an onslaught of concern, criticism and threats to call my grandparents. Then I realise that there are these massive expectations placed on me that neither my sister or brother have. My brother is currently travelling around Australia and Asia (to be honest I have no idea where he is at the moment as he never even checks in). And the only expectations my mum has of him is that he a) survives his trip b) does not impregnate any women on his travels c) does not run out of money & come crawling back home! And my sister is 26, still rents, has two little boys, wants more children & works in a cafe which everyone whole-heartedly supports. So sometimes in my life, the pressure of these expectations builds up too high and I have a little - explosion. 

"Mother, when I decide to have a child, it will be when I am financially and emotionally capable of doing so as I am aware it is not something to take on lightly. I will also have a degree and a masters degree when a baby comes into our lives, so my career prospects will not completely diminish in the two or three years I take off from work life. It is interesting your credentials do not disappear into thin air once you have a baby. I am expected to quickly get a career that pays well so that I can get a mortgage ridiculously early in life & so everyone in my family can be proud of me. Why is one thing never enough. A degree is not enough. A masters degree is not enough. A Phd will not be enough. Taking a year off work to give my parents a beautiful grandchild will not be enough."

I wonder whether this is due to my family placing their expectations on mhmmm the most capable of offspring, if I do say so myself! In all honesty, both of my siblings have no motivation to develop careers, my sister loves having children (of course is her right, and they are beautiful boys) like she does always want to be pregnant and her partner has a good job so she can afford to! My brother loves being care free & not working! So it seems because I enjoy working and learning, I'm expected to work full time, study full time, never have any problems/children and yes I have been asked by numerous family members (both mine & Russell's) if they can live with us when they get old, so apparently I'm also going to have to buy an apartment complex at some point in the future too!

What does the literature say? 

Kornrich & Furstenberg (2013) 

"Investing in Children: Changes in Parental Spending on Children, 1972–2007." Demography.

 Examined parental investment from the 70's into the 2000's and found that in today's society, parents invest somewhat equally in both male and female children, thus a sign of equality in regards to expectations for their children's futures. Also, in the later 00's, parents were actually investing more in girls than boys, giving girls a slight advantage. The age at which parents invest most in their children has also changed over time. In the 70's, parents spent most of their money on their children during adolescence. However, more recently, parents are investing mostly when the child is under the age of 6, and when they are in their twenties. Indicating that parents are possibly supporting children more in the beginning of their independent life, than during school.  This is a very interesting paper, which provides numerous insights into parental expectations. However, since this paper was published in 2013, it is disappointing that the results do not span more recently than 7 years ago, as the recession that began in 2008 after data collection ceased, would have provided even more fascinating insights to see how this financial hit affected parent's investments. 

Kirk, Lewis-Moss, Nilsen & Colvin (2011) 

"The role of parent expectations on adolescent educational aspirations."  Educational Studies.

This study examined the relationship between parental expectations with adolescent aspirations, whilst examining the influence of parental level of education and involvement in academic endeavours on these expectations. Their results indicated that the aspirations of adolescents can be predicted by their parents expectations, therefore, if the parents have high expectations i.e. to become a doctor, lawyer etc, then the adolescent will aspire to achieve high goals. Same is found if parents do not expect their child to achieve much, then the adolescent has limited aspirations. Indicating that family support, encouragement and social pressure could be factors in the development of aspirations for adolescents' futures. The results also indicated that despite low academic attainment themselves, parents still had high expectations for their child. However, in some circumstances this effect was found to be buffered - meaning when other factors are present this effect does not occur. In this instance, if the parent is uneducated, their expectations for their child are lowered if they are unfamiliar with the requirements for getting into university/college, concerns about affording college and unfamiliarity with financial opportunities available i.e. grants, loans. This study provides us with an explanation as to what factors may affect our parent's expectations of us achieving academically. In my case, no-one in my family had ever been to university before, which is something my mother had always wanted to do, therefore, she came to every meeting my school hosted about entry routes for different universities. However, my brother lived with his father during his secondary school years, and the prospect of going to university was never mentioned or reinforced, even though he could have succeeded in applying. 

These are just a couple of papers I found that most recently looked into this topic, obviously they do not provide me with an answer to why no-one wants me to have a family, yet! But I do now understand why my family invested so much time and effort into encouraging my education. It was my aspiration, which they nurtured and developed into a reality & I am now a university graduate. My brother has always wanted to travel the world, he has spent 6 months doing just that, I have never seen him happier & I am pretty sure he does not want to ever come home! My sister has always wanted to have a family and she now has a beautiful one that I am sure will keep growing! So perhaps my family do support us all to achieve our goals equally, but those goals are different for each of us and mine just has a lot more deadlines they are aware of (and they like to check I'm still achieving them)!

Thank you for reading my version of a rant!

L. E. Watts 

Term Two Commences...

Today was officially my first day back at University after Christmas for lectures and it was difficult adjusting after a few weeks off. I spent no time relaxing due to assignments but was definitely not getting up at 6am! I have definitely not missed that one little bit. However, I did have two assignments and one exam due on the same day, that was definitely a dark day! 

Moving on - today I had a four hour lecture on "Clinical Aspects of Behavioural Disorders" which focused on exploring the diagnosis and treatment of disorders such as Down's Syndrome, ADHD, Autism and Schizophrenia. It was extremely interesting as I am probably one of the only people on my course who has not worked with individuals with disabilities. Most other students have come from backgrounds involving volunteering with children with Special Educational Needs, so everyone seems more knowledgeable on this subject than me! So I'm thinking it will be a massive learning curve, so will be an exciting term. It also makes debates more insightful, because we all have different backgrounds and different future goals, so we all assess things differently - i.e. when discussing a paper we've read, I might look at the limitations of the methodology and how it could be improved to be more effective in the future, and someone else may point out how it could be applied to an educational setting. It really broadens your horizons!

The other module I am studying this term is called "Understanding Atypical Development", and I am only vaguely aware of it's content which worries me as usual. However, from the module guide it will include word learning (phonology & orthography), SLI?, Williams & Down's Syndrome, Dyspraxia & Dyslexia. So quite a range there, some cross over with the other module, so may be interesting/confusing to see how they approach those topics. I have this lecture on Friday so will have to see how that pans out, will update!

Tomorrow I have to get working on my thesis plans and develop an idea for my specialist essay - which are both modules for my second and third term which I want to get started ASAP as I'm far too organised for my own good. I have a solid plan, just need to begin completing my Ethic's form, not sure if I've previously mentioned what my thesis is focusing on? But I'm definitely someone who approaches complicated/sensitive issues with no fear, so last year I focused on popularity and this year I'm looking at children's perspectives of bullying and whether those perspectives are affected by their personality characteristics & the influence of others. I can do a more detailed post if anyone is interested in my theory, just let me know!

I also need to come up with an essay idea, it has to be 5,000 words so quite a detailed exploration of a topic. I'm contemplating discussing Schizophrenia in children, I know it's a debatable topic as some criteria of Schizophrenia i.e. talking to people who aren't there, are a normal behaviour exhibited in childhood - having imaginary friends. It was mentioned in my lecture today, and only contributes a tiny part of my module so thought it was an interesting area to explore so note to self - research tomorrow! 

Thanks for reading everyone,

L. E. Watts 

Introductions

Lauren E. Watts

1st Class Honours Degree in Psychology,

 Currently studying for an MSc in Applied Child Psychology.

Next step - Graduate in November & attain a Psychology Phd.

Career Aspirations - To become a lecturer in Psychology, research to focus on children's social development. 

I have recently became addicted to reading psychology blogs. They are great places to gain insight into cutting edge research at the touch of a button. Although I enjoy reading journals, it is sometimes like sifting through a haystack to find a chunk of gold - blogs seem to highlight the most interesting articles which cuts out the hard graft! I've attempted blogging about basic psychology before, but thought I would start fresh and focus on the area of psychology that interests me most - Child Development! In particular, I focus my research on aspects of children's social development. Hopefully this blog will become a place for me to write down my research ideas, updates on any research I may currently be conducting and feature any recent research I find exciting!